My midwife has been calculating the date from the first day of my last period, which actually puts me at 41 weeks tomorrow. I have been using the date projected by the doctor that did my 8 week ultrasound. Using the baby's size at that appointment the baby was due on the 10th. It is the 11th and no baby.
Since my midwife is using the 5th as the due date, we are getting closer to my being required to see a doctor again to make sure all is well for baby and closer to having to induce... I hope this will not be necessary. The goal is to have a healthy baby in the end...but I am still wanting to go the natural, home birth route. We'll see what happens, the timing isn't under my control. The baby's due date is up to my body and the baby.
I have been experiencing more false labor contractions and Braxton Hicks contractions. The false labor contractions have some mild cramping to pair with the tightening of my belly. I feel like the due date is near. I've been feeling that for a week though!
Part of me want labor to start tonight, part of me is scared about labor. Fear of the unknown. I have read and watched so many births, each birth is different from the other. How will this little boy enter the world? How will the pain actually feel? How will I feel the moment I first hold him and look in his eyes? Of course people tell me, they describe the feeling... But to actually experience it? To turn hearing into knowing. To become a mom! I can't fathom it just yet.
For now I have to concentrate on the task at hand, being 40+ weeks pregnant and not letting that fact psych me out! Last Thursday I cried about it. Wanting to be done, my fears about having to go to a hospital after all... Today I distracted myself with rearranging some plants in the garden. Moving small rocks and bricks around in such a way as to keep Frankie from destroying more of the garden.
I stopped working already. I may end up regretting this if he is another week late but I just couldn't focus on work anymore! I feel so uncomfortable. I am exhausted all the time. It was just time to call it. Throw in the towel. Relax.
We'll see how this affects my time with baby boy. If he is too much later I will run out of money sooner. I don't know, I'll figure that out once he arrives. Yes, I'm going back to work after my maternity leave. We'll talk about that more later.
Good night, I sure hope my next post is to announce his birth!